Rant of the Week

Harbinger

That past sorrows and joys have merged into an elegance that permeates her presence, that “something in the air” that indicates class and courage and composure. Though she now rigorously guards her privacy, her free spirit surfaces easily, and her thoughts come crystal clear. A figure of her time, our history, Lee is her own harbinger for an iconic future. Ours, and hers.  (From Nicky Haslam, Ny Times Blogs 2013-02-07)

And there you have the answer to question, how do you flatteringly describe the narcissistic and pointless life of a true celebrity?

Those words were written in reference to Lee Bouvier Radziwill, Jackie Kennedy's younger sister by five years.  (As admired as Jackie Kennedy was, she too was nothing more than a celebrity.  If you think that inviting well-known, if serious, poets and singers to the White House or being a book editor later in life means you actually had a real life, think again: a book editor is exactly what you do if you really aren't up the far more lugubrious task of writing.  It's not like, say, building houses with Jimmy Carter. )

What is a "celebrity"?  In the real world, useless people wither and die because they are incapable of producing anything of value in order to sustain an affluent lifestyle.  A celebrity is simply someone who gets the lifestyle anyway.

You get why Sofia Coppola, who made "Marie Antoinette"  with Kirsten Dunst, (and a better movie, "Lost in Translation") would be interested in her.  "Marie Antoinette" did for the title subject what that paragraph above tries to do for Lee Radziwill: recast the life of a sheltered, uninteresting, unaccomplished but affluent woman into something more dramatic and significant.  Next, of course, we find out why these women are victims, in a way, so we can empathize with them, so something will mitigate that feeling of privilege.  So we can say they have "overcome" something, like not being born rich.

She tried.  Yes, she tried to actually produce something of value and when you can't really produce anything of value-- she couldn't-- but you want to create the illusion of it, you become an actress, or, god help us, a model.  She tried acting.  She appeared in at least two plays.  Both attempts elicited scathing reviews and she gave it up.

She was a hanger-on, with the by then artistically impotent Truman Capote, on the Rolling Stones 1972 tour, for which I don't think she even earned a mention in Keith Richards' "Life".  She has received France's  Légion d'honneur which astonishes me.  That sounds so meaty and substantial.  I'll have to wiki that one day to find out what exactly it means.  Remember-- France thinks Jerry Lewis is a brilliant comedian.

The most astounding comment is the reference to a portrait of Radziwill "at the height of her astonishing beauty".  I could almost let anything else by Haslam pass but it is one thing to ask us to tolerate celebrities coasting among us, parasitical (almost always acquiring wealth through inheritance or marriage), intrusive, boring, but to then insist that we recognize them as beautiful as well goes far beyond the pale.  There's her picture to the right, her coarse face, the ridiculous hair and earrings, and that vacuous sedentary expression in fervent acknowledgement of the wisdom of keeping your mouth shut if you don't have anything particularly interesting to say.  Unless, of course, you are a "harbinger".

Here's an excruciating passage from Haslam's interview:

“Were you always aware of your beauty?”
“From the word go,” she answers simply and honestly. “But no one else was, then..."

The transmutation of Radziwill's coarse, rather weird face-- Jackie Kennedy had a bit of the same odd arrangement of eyes - nose - mouth-- into this "astonishing" beauty is worth a book.  How we manufacture illusions. Given Radziwill's life and connections and wealth, any face with all of the core elements in it would eventually elicit this "astonishing" tag from a celebrity interviewer some day.  Because that is precisely how you describe a woman who is really quite homely if she is rich and famous and a celebrity and obviously not beautiful at all and you have been absolutely dying to meet her and make a big point of describing how she seemed to like you.  And then you use her first name. With the money you will have the teeth and the make-up and what passes for hair style, and clothing.  Usually the breasts.  But no amount of money can fix the flaws in the arrangement of that face.  They eyes are too wide set, the nose too long, the forehead like a plateau.  And that awful, awful dress.

In 1974 she and Jackie published “One Special Summer,” a memoir of their European trip, written originally as a gift to their parents.

But really, this is so good.  So beautiful.  This is so amazing!  You should publish this!  People would love to read about your life.  I must insist on sending a copy to my friend over at Harper-Collins...  He's a tough editor.  I'm sure he'll give his real opinion.  Let's see what he thinks.  Let's not tell him who wrote it.  No-- no!  That would be cruel.

And so it goes.  Oh my goodness--  we were astonished at the demand for our book.  Who would have thought it?  But after all, I have such good taste.  It would surprise no one to know that I can do a bit of it myself.

As for "harbinger for an iconic future", I don't even know what Ms. Nicky intended with this preposterous line.  I can't figure it out.  How can a future be "iconic"?  Does she mean our future will be full of icons?  And that Lee Radziwill will astonish young people in the future with her good looks and her savoir faire?  Will they want to hear stories of her hanging around the Rolling Stones in 1972 and meeting many interesting people, like, oh Truman Capote, Joe Namath, and Olivia Newton-John?

 

 

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